My Big Brother Can't Be This Cute!
by ya-aburnee
Summary: Hong Kong secretly runs popular social media counts under the name Leon Wang. As it turns out, he finds that much of his most popular content all contain one particular person in them - his older brother, China. Deciding to cater to his followers' requests, Hong Kong enlists the help of Iceland; together, they try to fulfill the fans' fantasies without China knowing. HongIce!
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first story I've actually written on this site for years . . . well, it's good to start over, amirite? Anyway, hello! I'm Ayah. Let's get straight to the point. Hong Kong and Iceland are one of my fave ships, but I also wanted to write a fanfic about my fave character - China - and BAM, this story was born! The title of the story was inspired (read: ripped off) by the anime Oreimo; I figured it fit it pretty well, considering what this story's about. That's the only thing "borrowed", though - so there will not be any elements of Oreimo present :P**

 **The main ship in this story is HongIce. Poor China is probably going to be my shipping whore in this story and for many stories to come! Minor characters include the Asian Family, the Nordic Five, and some of the other countries.**

 **For future reference: italicized words indicate thoughts and use of non-English words.**

 **Summary: Hong Kong secretly runs extremely popular accounts on multiple social media websites under the human name of Leon Wang. As it turns out, he finds that many of his most popular skits, vlogs, and photos all contain one particular person in them - his older brother, China. Deciding to cater to his followers' requests, Hong Kong enlists the help of Iceland; together, they try to fulfill the fans' fantasies while making sure China never catches on.**

* * *

"So - get this - the douche that thought I took the last steamed bun got his ass kicked. I mean, I wasn't gonna just stand there, you know? We brawled a little; it was like those old kung fu films! And eventually I kind of felt bad for the guy, 'cause he was my age and he looked pretty hungry, so I was like: 'Look, I'm tired. Just take it.' And the guy was like: 'No, screw you, I'm done with this bullshit.' He just left. Like, what the hell? Anyway, looks like that's all the time I have for today, guys. I'll see you in the next video. _Zàijiàn_!"

With that, Hong Kong shut off the camera and breathed a heavy sigh. He had just finished recording a 15-minute vlog of what had happened that week; mostly trivial things that could happen to anybody, but ranting about his dreary work days was his forte. Lounging on his bed, he fumbled for his smartphone on his nightstand.

About five thousand new subscribers-slash-followers on all his social media accounts in a twenty-four hour period.

 _Not bad._

There were other social media accounts who boasted higher rates, but Hong Kong was content. He shifted into a more comfortable position and unlocked his phone, almost mechanically tapping the Twitter app.

 _What to tweet, what to tweet._

 _Ah. Perfect._

With the thought captured in his mind's eye, Hong Kong effortlessly weaved a silken tapestry of words: "ur all gaylords".

Straightforward and brutally honest. He could already imagine the amount of favorites and retweets.

"Jia Long! Come and eat!" a high-pitched voice called. He elected to ignore it.

Hong Kong held his phone well above his head, sticking out his tongue and attempting at what Yong-soo would call a "smolder"; with his dark amber eyes, it was simple to pull off and was very popular among his (mostly female) fanbase.

"Jia Loooooooooooong! What are you doing?" the voice shouted again, now clearly annoyed. "I know you can hear me!"

Moving on to Instagram, Hong Kong posted his selfie with the caption "eyebrow game strong".

Proud of his creative work, he lazily scrolled through his Instagram feed, barely acknowledging his elder brother as the self-proclaimed patriarch of the household barged into his room. The shorter man grabbed his wrist and tugged, scolding him in rapid-fire Cantonese.

"Put the phone down and come eat with me and Wen Cheng! Don't just sit here and do nothing."

Ripping away his arm, Hong Kong rolled his eyes and continued to disregard his brother. "I'd rather sit here than have you nag me about proper table manners."

China didn't seem to take kindly to that.

"You can't just do whatever you want, Jia Long!"

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Leon?" Hong Kong snapped. He felt a smug satisfaction when he realized China was struggling to control his temper; he met China's gaze evenly, preparing for the verbal smackdown of a lifetime.

"Didn't I also tell you to knock before you come in? Can't I have at least a little privacy?"

China leaped onto the bed, his delicate features now taut with fury. "Don't you dare turn this on me!"

Hong Kong, feigning exhaustion, yawned and stretched his limbs unhurriedly - then, quicker than even he himself had thought possible, he snapped a photo of China; thankfully, the elder nation was too exasperated to notice. Hong Kong, sliding his phone underneath his pillow, watched disinterestedly as his older brother whined like a child about things he couldn't be bothered with:

"You're always on that phone, Jia Long. Just one day without it is all I ask!"

"Why do I never get through to you?"

"You're so disrespectful!"

"You -"

"Oh, would you look at that," Hong Kong remarked as his phone buzzed. "Ice texted me. He's at the front door, can't keep him waiting. Gotta go."

China's topaz eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion. "What's he doing here?"

Hong Kong, scouring his closet for clothes that weren't dirty, replied with a "None of your business" and didn't say anything else.

He wasn't lying. Iceland really was waiting outside for him; both of the boys were on break, so Hong Kong had asked him to fly over so that they could hang out in a place where they knew where everything was located. Iceland, due to his status as his best friend, was also very well-liked among his fans, and they enjoyed coming up with new content for them together.

He wasn't frantic to get ready, and he knew he would most likely regret it when he noticed China scurry out of his room, but he continued anyway.

* * *

Emil wondered whether or not he was intruding. Time differences made him quite apprehensive, and so did cultural differences.

 _Am I too early? Am I too late?_

As seconds passed without any response to the text he sent to Hong Kong, he became even more unsure of himself.

 _Am I being weird?_

It had been tasking to actually find the home itself; Hong Kong told him that China had always favored a secluded life surrounded by peaceful nature, so they didn't get many visitors; especially of the human kind. Iceland respected hermit lifestyles, but did China really have to make sure his house was so difficult to actually reach?

Then again, the nature aspect wasn't unbearable. The rich scent of flowers and herbs was highly soothing, almost therapeutic; that, combined with the gentle rustling of leaves, the flow of freshwater streams, and the brilliant sunlight filtering and casting intricate patterns on the soil gave the impression of a painting. It resembled a setting from one of Norway's fantastical stories; too magnificent to be real, but here it was.

And yet, Hong Kong hated it.

He told Iceland that it was too uneventful, too tranquil. He favored the excitement and urgency of day-to-day life in the city - a natural feeling, considering where he was from. Unfortunately for him, China would never allow him to move away and live alone in his birthplace, and Leon was forced to accept this no matter how much he desired it.

 _God, how long has it been?_

Pushing away thoughts of his friend's situation, Iceland was just about to send him a text demanding to know where he was when the door was flung open.

He flinched and froze in place, instinctively about to apologize for loitering, but relaxing when he saw that it was only China.

Even after knowing the old nation for many years, China still perplexed Iceland. He was simultaneously mature yet somehow childish, so not only was he identified as Hong Kong's parental figure, older brother, and teacher, but he also managed to pull off the role of the bratty sibling and the household's resident primadonna. Hong Kong often called him a drama queen (among other things), but China was always very kind to Iceland.

The first time Iceland had ever met China, the older nation was friendly, perhaps sensing the younger boy's timidity; since then, their relationship had been one of casual friendship. He, not being as assertive as the continental Europeans, watched from a distance as the stronger nations took advantage of China. Despite never being directly involved, he felt guilty all the same. The others often disrespected the Eastern country using both words and action; crude, vulgar things were said and done that made him cringe, but he did nothing. Presumably, everyone had forgotten about this time period - or chose not to mention it - but every time Iceland looked at China, the guilt would resurface.

That same guilt reemerged even as China flashed a bright smile at Iceland. "Hello, Emil! How are you? Why don't you come in?"

Iceland was caught off guard by both the use of his human name and the hospitality, but he reminded himself that this was probably a normal way people treated guests in China.

"Um, hi," the Icelandic boy muttered. Mentally kicking himself for such a curt response, he tried again. "Hey, Yao," he said, louder this time, "I'm fine, thanks. I'm just waiting for Leon, I don't need to come inside. Really."

China frowned, looking up at him with furrowed brows and pouty lips. "How long have you been waiting out here? Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No, no," he insisted, "it's fine! You don't have to do that for me. I just want this stupid fuckboy to come out and-" he cut himself off and covered his mouth in horror. Would China get offended by that?

 _Goddammit-_

"Sorry," he forced out, "I didn't mean it like that. It's just -" Slang? A term of endearment? Would China even understand that, given his age?

China giggled.

Iceland stared.

"It's okay," China suppressed his laughter and directed a displeased glance over his shoulder. "He is being such a little shit today."

Iceland snorted, remembering how volatile the interactions between the two brothers could become. Before he could formulate a witty comment, Leon had arrived on the doorstep and shoved past Yao. The Chinese man opened his mouth to chide him, but shut it, looking defeated. Turning back to Iceland, he cracked one last grin, although this one wasn't as cheerful.

"Take care of him, Emil."

Iceland was about to tell the ancient nation that Hong Kong was far more capable than him in almost everything, but the look on China's face immediately put a stop to it.

"I -"

"Come on." Leon's voice was monotonous, like it usually was when he didn't want anyone to know how he felt. It was irritating, but Iceland went with it. Tugged away by Leon, he waved goodbye to China, who returned the favor. That awful feeling of guilt returned stronger than ever when he saw the last look on China's face before the door was shut.

 _Alone with Leon._

A feeling in his stomach like he was going to sing the Icelandic national anthem in front of an audience of 10,000 people established itself - _Helvítis_ , why was he always anxious over something? - and now it would never leave. He stole a quick look at the figure beside him; Leon slowly, seductively ran a hand through his hair and bit his lip - God, did he look so good -

Iceland stopped walking and covered his face.

Leon didn't seem to notice this.

Iceland, after inhaling deeply, caught up with the Chinese boy again and inquired where they were going.

Leon quirked a bushy eyebrow without turning to face him. "Hong Kong. Duh. Where else?"

"Of course," Iceland murmured, hoping that Leon would detect the sarcastic tone of voice. "How are we getting there? We're in northern China."

"We're going on a really long bus ride."

* * *

 ** _Helvítis_ \- "Dammit" in Icelandic.**

 **Wen Cheng is the human name I found for Macao. I believe it means "achievement"?**

 **That was fun! Next chapter: HongIce in Hong Kong!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I should probably be studying for midterms and doing homework rn, but nah. I always kept this story in the back of my mind, but I never had time to update. Here it is, though!**

 **A Broken Imagi-Nation: I felt guilty when I read this since I like to procrastinate a lot, but thank you so much for your review!**

 **AphHetaliaLover: Thanks! I'll admit that I view China as being overbearing, but I also see Hong Kong as being much more cool and composed than China. It's also stated in the manga that they annoy the shit out of each other, so I tried to portray that as best I can. For now, there will be HongIce present in every chapter, but as time passes, you'll see more of it. I don't really know how many chapters there will be; I haven't exactly decided yet!**

 **Guest: I wish I knew who sent this one because this one made me blush! :') I'm so glad that you enjoyed my writing and the HK-China relationship! Thank you!**

 **There may be mentions of Iggychu in this chapter and future chapters, but don't be surprised. Like I said, China's going to be shipped with a LOT of people. And of course, HongIce is ever-present.**

 **Thanks!**

* * *

"So . . . you wanna hit up a McDonald's?"

"No thanks."

"You wanna hit up a _dim sum_ restaurant? _Hot pot_ restaurant?"

"I'm not hungry, Leon."

"Fair enough. Wanna watch a movie?"

"Leon, we literally just walked out of one. Like, five minutes ago."

"Yeah. So?"

"I don't wanna watch a movie!"

"Fine, let's go to a concert or something. Hope you like Cantopop."

"Leon, we need to purchase tickets to go to a concert."

"Fuck that."

"You can't go to a concert without a ticket, Leon."

"Holy SHIT, then what do you want to do? Go to a karaoke club? Play Mahjong with old people?"

Iceland was taken aback by his friend's sudden loss of temper. Frantically, he tried to make amends.

"You know," he chuckled nervously, "I'm all up for sneaking into Cantopop concerts. I love EXO."

Leon, freezing in his tracks, barked out a laugh. "Stupid. EXO is a Kpop band." They'd come upon a family park situated in a bustling neighborhood, the weather pleasant and the people sociable. The two found shade under a tree, Hong Kong falling flat on his back while Iceland crossed his legs, a visible blush creeping onto his face.

"I knew that! I definitely did."

Leon snorted. "Yeah, right." Seconds passed before he added: "Mei loves them. So does Teacher. They fangirl over them, like, all the time. It's kind of cute and annoying."

It took Iceland a moment to associate those names with faces; Mei was Taiwan, Hong Kong's very bubbly older sister. "Teacher" was what Hong Kong called China, although he certainly didn't treat him with the respect that a teacher usually received. At the thought of two immortal beings, one of whom was a man, squealing over a boy band that didn't know they existed, he had to grin.

"I didn't know Yao liked boy bands," Iceland pondered absentmindedly. "Isn't he too old for that?"

With one innocent question, Iceland had inadvertently caused a tidal wave of information to pour out of Leon's mouth.

"Are you kidding?" his friend said, sitting up abruptly. "He's always playing EXO. Hell, not just EXO but all kinds of Kpop. And Cpop. Even Jpop, for that matter, and English pop songs, some of which he doesn't even understand."

Hong Kong rarely, if ever released so much pent-up emotion. Iceland leaned forward, eager, as Leon started pounding on the ground with his fists.

Leon shook his head derisively. "Sometimes he's like an annoying younger sibling. Like a - like a little sister, not my older brother. He watches anime and reads manga, which wouldn't be that big of a deal if so much of it wasn't, like, magical girl or idol anime. He collects stuffed toys and plushies and freaks out if he loses one of them. He practically tries to choke me if I scold one of his pets for doing anything wrong. He throws tantrums or gives the silent treatment when things don't go his way. He starts throwing things at me when I come into his room to ask him for something because I catch him doing shit like singing into his hairbrush. That's not even scratching the surface -

"And THEN," Leon was on a roll now, his voice no longer flat like it usually was but now rising and falling with passionate cadences and inflections. Iceland wondered if he'd have to stop him at some point. "And THEN, other times, he acts like the mom I've never had and don't want. He comes in to clean my room without asking and he yells at me for not doing my chores and he always tries to fix my hair or my clothes and he always corrects my speech or grammar and he gives the dumbest punishments for no reason and he's strict and so ANNOYING and - and - Wen Cheng is always there, with that goddamn smirk on his face, and he never does anything even when Teacher annoys him, too, and him and I have to play the big brother roles in our household, and it's! So! Fucking! Annoying!"

Leon had risen so much in volume that some people were giving them wary looks, but Iceland was far too engrossed in Leon's tirade to calm him down.

"Sometimes I wish that I could go back to living with England. Sometimes I wish that there'd be some sort of economic collapse that takes place only in the mainland, or a civil war, or _something_ so he'd just get off my back."

The last statement brought Iceland back to reality. He felt his stomach crawl up his throat at Leon's horrifying exclamation, and he was about to admonish him for saying something so awful about his family before he saw what he did next.

 _Of course._

As if he had didn't just articulate his deepest and darkest fantasies, Leon had sat back down collectedly and went back on his phone. Iceland had brought his with him, too, but he wasn't quite as attached to his as Leon was to his own. He had mistakenly believed Leon would be too distracted to go back and check on his social media accounts during their outing, but his friend never ceased to prove him wrong.

Leaning against the trunk of the tree, Iceland shut his eyes and was about to doze off when Leon uttered a single word: "Woah".

Iceland cracked open a single eye. "What?"

"Check this out," Leon replied, once again adopting his signature stoicism. Iceland could still hear a hint of awe in his voice.

 _At what?_ he thought.

Leon handed him his iPhone - opened on his Instagram account - and told him to look at the picture and the number of comments and likes.

Iceland did what he was instructed, and his eyes widened in disbelief.

All there was was a photo of China, sitting with knees spread beneath him on what Iceland recognized to be Hong Kong's bed, his small hands, concealed by exceedingly long sleeves, clutching the bed sheets. His face was scrunched up and flushed with indignation and his lips were pursed, one of his most iconic expressions among the other countries due to it being considered cute rather than threatening. The Chinese man's large brown eyes were bright and glistening - tears of anger? - and Iceland immediately knew that the photo was taken during another of the Hong Kong's arguments with him. All in all, China looked very, very alluring.

Blushing, He looked at the number of likes on the photo, and he uttered a single word: "Woah".

Hong Kong, under the name Leon Wang, had about six million subscribers on Youtube. On Twitter and Instagram, he had about two million. On Instagram, he usually got about two hundred thousand to three hundred thousand likes on a single picture, although it sometimes varied. For all his nonsensical content that he produced in his best of times and worst of times, his fans went wild over it.

The picture had about seven hundred thousand likes on it, and with every refresh, it seemed to grow.

"What the _fuck_?" Iceland was bewildered. He'd never seen anything like this occur before. Even on Hong Kong's most aesthetically pleasing photos, at most they got up to about four hundred fifty thousand. Why did a picture of China, with not even a caption to provide context, gain so much popularity?

"Exactly," Hong Kong replied, appearing to be contemplating something. "It's so weird."

Iceland skimmed through the comments of countless numbers of strangers who were all marveling over China. There were thousands of comments, but they were all essentially the same.

"'oh my god your so pretty'," Iceland read out loud, wincing at the incorrect usage of the possessive pronoun.

"'I would kill for a face like that'"

"'Leon, I didn't know you had such a _kawaii_ sister!'"

With every comment read aloud, Leon's countenance changed to that of amusement. After reading dozens of comments, he was doubled over and holding his stomach, cackling with glee. The stares they'd received when Leon was raving beforehand seemed to only increase in intensity. Leon payed no mind to this and instead wiped away a tear, requesting that Iceland read one more.

"Uh . . . okay." Iceland, without thinking, blurted out the first comment he'd laid his eyes on: "'moe moe kyun'. . . ?"

The sound Leon emitted was akin to that of a cat screech.

* * *

 **Looks like things are finally picking up :0**

 **Thanks for reading! Next chapter: HongIce make a plan!**


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